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BC: Wally's Tale of Woe

BC: Wally's Tale of Woe

Date: 3/29/2003

 

It is me, Wally.

 

And I am here to tell you that even in this era of high tech and laser lips, there are some distinct disadvantages to having missing toofies.

 

Recently, I have gotten into the habit of occasionally hopping up on the living room table... hoping some food is left there. Well, imagine my delight to find an Oreo sitting there! Mom does not normally eat Oreos, but I happen to know she had a coupon and got an entire bag for 50 cents! Anyhow... there was this lone Oreo sitting there.

 

So I started to eat it. I chomped a little bit of the chocolate off but then I was caught! I was put in my condo (but the door remains open), and Mom went about her business. Well... she being incipiently-senile.... she forgot about the Oreo! I, however, did not.

 

Mom was giving Oscar his various medical treatments in the kitchen, and she hears me plop up on the table. Then she hears me making odd noises and realizes I am eating the Oreo again!

 

Get this.. she leaves Oscar, who is getting subQ fluids (has a needle stuck into him)... and comes running in to take my Oreo away! Sheesh. And because of my missing toofies, I didn't get very far on it. So frustrating.

 

She runs back to Oscar (whom she had thrown a towel on, not that that guy would move anyhow-- he is very patient about his treatments), who was fine, and at the end of his medicating she gives HIM a little piece of Oreo! That was MY Oreo! Or it could have been mine, if I had had all my toofies it would have been quickly et.

 

That is my tale of woe.

 

;-f

 

Wally

 

 

Re: Wally's Tale of Woe

Date: 3/29/2003

 

Charlotte Harper wrote>>

 

Wally! Dis issa outwage!<<

 

It sure is.

 

>> Your slabe not onwy took away your Oreo, but she gabe itto Oscar? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!<<

 

It was so cruel. Is she mocking my disability? ;-/

 

>>Hokay, I'm finkin dat we need a PETIS-SHUN!Hey Balentine! Can we start a petis-shun for Wally Laser-Lips? It can saysumthin wike dis:We da undersigned (who are friends ob Wally's) belieb dat Wally Laser-Lipsis being discrimmynated against cos he has no toofies an furdermore is beinunfairly denied akcess to Oreos (dat outter chockwate part) onna basis ob hegots no teef an dat dis is gwoss UNFAIRNESS ONNA PAWT OBBA SLABE! <fump><<

 

Very good. And I like the "fump."

 

>>We ob RIFRAF hereby demand an innsist dat Wally Laser-Lips, who is a ChawterMember in Good Standing of RIFRAF, should enjoy da same rites an pribilagesas any toofied member <<

 

Do you think it is toofied? Or would that be toofified?

 

>>ob RIFRAF, i.e. dat finder's is keeper's an dat wuzHIS OREO an his slabe should fix it so dat he has EQUILL AKCESS to it as anytoofied bunny. (In udder words, GIB IT BACK, WADY!!!).<<

 

Yes, I want my Oreo! Nothing less will do!

 

>> NO bunny shuld be discrimmynated against inna matter ob tweats or akcess thereto onna'countobba dis'bility dat issn't da bunny's fault. EQUILL RITES FER ALL BUNNIES!!!Whut'cha fink, Balentine? Mebbe you an Clem an Roody can fix uppa wangwage,<<

 

Well that is pretty good language already, but maybe Balentine and the others are experts in wording things.

 

>>but if we could get ebberyone frum RIFRAF to send inna sigynature ob supportfer Wally to one ob us, we could bundle 'em all up an send dem to Wally'sslabe. Den his slabe wuld hab to gib into da pressure obba masses an gibWally equill akcess to Oreos.We cannot awwow dis injustice to exist!Help is comin, Wally!!!!Frum your friend frum Our WarrenBelinda Bunny <actybist>

 

Well thank you! Thank goodness you are an activist bunny and help is on the way. I feel so wronged! She insists Oreos are not good for me.

 

So why does Oscar get a piece? Cuz he is stuck full of holes for medical reasons? Who even knows if they are valid medical reasons or if she is just being sadistic... to BOTH of us!

 

Oh I am upset.

 

;'(

 

Wally

 

 

Re: Wally's Tale of Woe

Date: 3/30/2003

 

From: John Foehr

 

>> She should also dip the oreo into some milk to soften it because of

your missing tuffies.<<

 

Yes she should! She should *assist* me in eating the Oreo, not snatch it away!

 

>> You can't be expected to gum an oreo. How sad!!!!!<<

 

I know! So near and yet so far...

 

>> I'm also recommending you for the crossed

carrot award with lettuce leaf clusters.<<

 

Wow, this is an award I don't know about....? Sounds impressive, and if the carrots are cut small enough, I could eat them...

 

>>Free Wally from Oreo Injustice!!!!!! <<

 

Yes! That would make an excellent bumper sticker, you know?

 

Wally

 

 

Wally's Tale of Woe

Date: 3/30/2003

 

From: Michelle Auletta >>

 

 

Hi RIFRAF members,I had my persoonul waw cwerk go ova da petishun and she

said it was ok. At weast unda NY waw. She also said, Wally, dat yur swabe

has to watch it,because dere is a thwee stwikes waw in Cawifornia, so

dat if she takes awayda Oreo cookie fwom yu one more time unda dese

iwwegal circumstances, denshe will hafta go to jail.

Hope dis helps.Rudy, Esqhare<<

 

 

Rudy,

 

Hey, I didn't know you were an Esqhare! That is very impressive!

 

That is an excellent point about the 3 strikes law.

So if she ever again snatches an Oreo away from me, she goes to jail? *That* should show her! She already has the 2 strikes...

 

Thank you for your legal representation.

 

Wally

 

 

BC: RIFRAF Online Petition for Wally Kallan

Date: 3/31/2003

 

From: Rhonda Welch

 

We the Bunnies Of RIFRAF will commence to use the public forum of PetBunny

to make a public example of one bunny slave known to us as Carla Kallan.

She is the slave of the well-known Calendar Buns - Wally Kallan & Oscar

Kallan.

 

Ms. Kallan is being accused by all member of RIFRAF of committing bunny

abuse. The following atrocities have been committed against one of our own

Charter Members - "Mr. June.... The King of Summer" - Wally "LaserLips"

Kallan.<<

 

Here here!!

 

1) Ms Kallan disregarded all "Roolz Of RIFRAF"

2) Kept a bun (Wally) from a highly sought after treat..... even putting the

treat in an accessible place. THEN denying access to said treat. (The OREO

Cookie!)

3) Left said treat unattended and accessible. Not only once, but TWICE.

4) Banished Wally to the "Death Trap" (otherwise known as his condo)

5) Compromised his health and well-being (by denying the treat and

banishment to the death trap)

6) Showed favoritism amongst her own bunny charges by giving the

aforementioned treat to Oscar Kallan. This is a blatant disregard of

Wally's feelings and well-being.<<

 

She trompled all over my feelings, yes. And, yes, put me back in the Condo of Death (with the Ramp of Doom).

 

>>

We should all come together and voice our opinions online for all to see.

We want Ms. Kallan to serve as a public example of what can and will happen

if a slave does not treat a bun in accordance with the "Roolz OF RIFRAF".

Everybun and hoomin should see the full results of this petition.<<

 

Yes! She has misbehaved terribly. She is lucky that there is not one of those website online petitions where hundreds of people sign and then it gets sent to her! Now that would be appropriate and properly humiliate her.

 

>>Please sign this petition in support of our fellow RIFRAF Member Wally

Kallan.<<

 

Yes. Sign and send Oreos.

 

>>King Valentine - Secretary General Of RIFRAF<<

 

Thank you, King Valentine.

 

Wally

 

Re: BC: Wally's Tale of Woe

Date: 3/31/2003

 

From: Cindy Scheel

 

That is very sad. We think you should have gotten some Oreo and that you worked

for it, that silly little Oscar da Foster didn't deserve the Oreo, you did.

Gumming an Oreo is NOT easy, it is heroic. We think your mom should have

shared. And really, just ONE Oreo out of a whole bag? Check around. Maybe

there are some lurking somewhere.<<

 

I know, she should give me a piece, right? I am sniffing around. Went back up on the table but only found some curried vegetables. Even *I* didn't want those.

 

>>PS we never get anything like that. Mom made chocolate covered raisins and

Chaos tried to snarf one but she snatched the plate up and stuck it on top of

the Box That Hold Carrots, which is taller than she is. Even Chaos couldn't

jump that high. Sigh.<<

 

Wow, your Mom MAKES chocolate covered raisins? How do you do that, anyhow? I bet they are good (tho, of course, you don't know as you have not even had one.. sigh.) That is quite sad, too, you know.

 

<<Ferguson and the Oreo Deprived Bunch<<

 

 

I think this is a bigger problem then first imagined. There are many, MANY Oreo-deprived rabbits in the world. Such a tragedy.

 

Wally

 

Re: RIFRAF Online Petition for Wally Kallan

Date: 4/1/2003

 

From: John Foehr

I think each of us should send Wally several Oreos. If someone has the

address I'm good for sending a dozen...

 

John and Tawney (I personally like ginger snaps)<<

 

ME, ME, ME, ME! Where are my Oreos? I like this plan.

I have had ginger snaps in my time and I like them, too. However, the memory of that snatched- away Oreo haunts me...

 

Wally

 

 

BC: Frannie and Earl <was> Re: RIFRAF Online Petition for Wally Kallan

Date: 4/1/2003

 

From: Rhonda Welch

 

>>Let us hope that we have no more wayward slaves. Remember, we are

attempting to make a public example of Wally Kallan's slave. We are doing

this in the hopes it will detur any errant behavoir that another slave may

be considering embarking upon. We must also remember that any problem

being encountered by any member of RIFRAF is every members problem.<<

 

Here, here! She *should* be made a public example of.

Very bad slave.

 

<<<Free Wally From Oreo Injustice>>> <<<Oreos For Wally>>> <<<Wally,

Wally, Wally>>>

 

Oh this are wonderful slogans! So exciting. I can see the pickets now...

 

Wally

 

 

BC: RIFRAF Online Petition for Wally Kallan (Update)

Date: 4/1/2003

To: petbunny@lsv.uky.edu

From: Charlotte Harper

 

Fanks to da wegal adbice ob RIFRAF's Atturney Genral, Roody and da wangwage

skills ob RIFRAF's Sekretary Genral, King Balentine, we ob RIFRAF hab a

PETITION onna books onna behalf ob Wally Laser-Lips, our berry own Mr. June,

who has been depribed ob his Oreoes onna-count ob his disabillity ob missing

toofies. In udder werds, he is being discrimmnated against by his swabe an

DIS ISN'T RITE.

 

So far, dis is who has signed his PETITION:

SIGGYNATURES:

King Valentine Welch, Secretary General of RIFRAF

Rudy, Esqhare, Attorney General of RIFRAF

Belinda Harper (General Busybody of RIFRAF)

Cwem Welch

Vanessa Welch - Da Diva

Cassidy Welch

Ferguson and the Oreo Deprived Bunch

Bailey Bunny of Long Island NY

Beeee of SoCal.

Dinsdale Louise Piranha

Julius "Groucho" Piranha

Thurgood Thumper, aka Dorian Gray

Bailey Clayton Bunny

John Foehr and Tawney "I'm sooooo Pretty" Foehr

Frannie, the Starved Bunny

Earl (Corey's husbun)

Prince and Duchess

Mickey & Bailey

Sebastien

Willow

Lizzie

Rabbit

SA, da don (Enforcer for RIFRAF)

Hawthorn Harper, CEO

Hunny Harper

Poet Harper

Miz Clover Harper

Missy-Bun Harper

BeBe-Bunny!! Harper<<

 

That is a very impressive list, Belinda! Oh she will be quaking in her boots when I show her this. Surely she will give me an Oreo? Just the chocolate part even?

 

Wally

 

Re: Reassuring Wally/Belinda <was> Re: BC: RIFRAF Online Petition for Wally Kal

Date: 4/2/2003

 

From: "Charlotte Harper"

 

Yes, Balentine, dis is worring. Whut *is* she doin to Oscar? Frum whut Wally told us, she is stickin poor Oscar inna butt. Bad enuf when da B-E-T does it, but dis slabe is bwingin da whole fing HOME? Whut's goin on at dat house? Depribin bunnies, stickin bunnies inna butt, gibbin medycin, discrimmynashun, abandonment,...Mebbe we gots to inbade or sumthin. Frum your friend at Our WarrenBelinda Bunny <actybist>Brian & Charlotte Harper, Phil & Alanna, & BethBuns: Belinda & Hawthorn, Miz Clover, Missy-Bun, Bebe-Bunny!! and Poet & me,Hunny<<

 

Belinda,

 

Thanks for your support. If you invade, I will be your "inside bun." I will let you in!

 

Yes she is acting peculiarly, irrationally, sadistically. Oscar gets stuck with needles every two days, poor guy. Not in the butt, actually, but bad enough.

 

As for me, I think the petition may be having some effect! All this talk about her being a bad slave, well, I saw her looking at my pathetic little face and also looking at the Oreo bag, in which a cookie or two still resides. Can it be that I will get a taste?

 

I think this whole subject has revealed that many, many rabbits are Oreo-deprived, to say nothing of toofie-deprived. It is a scandal!

 

Wally

 

Re: BC: Re: RIFRAF Online Petition for Wally Kallan To: PETBUNNY@LSV.UKY.EDU

Date: 4/2/2003

 

"Christina Kennedy"

King Valentine - Secretary General Of RIFRAF Commander Webley objects to the harsh and inconsiderate treatment ofWally. Miss Nikita, on the other hand, is going through a major shed andobjects to everything right now (petting, brushing, air, sunlight,Tuesdays, underwater exploration, meatloaf made with onion, DodgeDarts, CNN, cotton/poly blend fabrics, newspaper, vacuums, etc.) Ibelieve it is safe to assume that she objects to the treatment of poorWally as well.Tina, PR representative of the Kennedy Warren<<

 

No offense to Ms. Nikita, but she sounds a trifle irritable right now.

 

Thanks to the Commander for his support, and I think to Ms. Nikita as well...

 

Wally

 

Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2003 12:00:30 -0500

From: Christina Kennedy

Subject: BC: Wallygate!

 

> Bud I wike dat "Fight Oreo Injustice". Dat's godda nice ring to it. It'll

> wook gud onna sign. Mention it to Cwem. He's good wif pickit signs. Also I

> fink we need a few "WALLYGATE" signs. Dis depribin bunnies ob fings is NOT

> gud. An you discobbered it. Good going!!!

 

Here issa start, Bewinda!

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~kennedyc/WALLYGATE.gif

Iz dat a gud pickit sign?

Yers trooly,

Da Commander ob da Kennedy Warren

In-Bed-did Reporter ob RIFRAF news

 

 

From: Charlotte Harper (view other messages by this author)

Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2003 05:25:43 >>>Are you working to organize an invasion of the Kallan Household if thatbecomes neccessary.<<<Well, wet's just say I fought 'bout it.I fink we kin pull off "Shock an Awe" (as in "Ohmigoodness, who wet in alladees bunnies?" an "Awwwww, aren't dey cute?") pwetty gud. Wally sed he wuldwet us in, so we don gotta werry bout da Gates ob Kallan, you know? We goddareporter alweady in bed, so dis is gud, too. Our teknology wooks preddy gud,too.We godda wotta bunnies who are gud at grunts an quite a number who are gudat carpet-diggin. Pooties are just point-an-shoot if fings gets tough an iffings get rilly diffycult, den dere are a few ob us wif experyence inpeein-onna-B-E-T who can deliber da Muvver ob All Insults (MOAI) on command.As fer deployment, if we werk alla us togedder, den we got da Pal Doctrinewerkin fer us an wif four paws per bunny we'll hab plenty ob feets onnaground when we need 'em. Supplywines don't need to be a bodder, cos I finkWally can gib us infortymashun onna contents obba Big Cold Box Inna Kitchin,hay an pellets atta source. We isn't

comin for a wong stay, jus a wightninstrike dat'll be ober berry qickwy.

Whut'cha fink?Frum your friend at Our WarrenBelinda Bunny <Aktybist>Brian & Charlotte Harper, Phil & Alanna, & BethBuns: Belinda & Hawthorn, Miz Clover, Missy-Bun, Bebe-Bunny!! and Poet & me,HunnyCats: KayCee and Cokie-the-Fat-Maine-Coon

 

 

Re: Reassuring Wally/Belinda

Date: 4/4/2003

 

From: Charlotte Harper

 

We godda werk on yer reportin skills here.

 

When your slabe taked away your Oreo, dat wuz NOT "liberatin" it. Dat wuz

"depribin" you ob your rites as da finder. Dis issa biolashun obba Bunny

Bill Ob Rites as waid down by da RIFRAF Nashunal Conbenshun an Kustomary

Waw. In undder werd, if we gedda Oreo back, dat's liberatin it. Da Oreo is

bein wifheld frum YOU, who is it's proper owner. Hokay?<<

 

Oh, okay. Guess I had that wrong.

She STOLE my property! I have been violated. I am the victim of a horrible, detestable crime.

 

>>An it's not dadda Toofies obba Werld has godda unite, it's datta bunnies

obba werld has godda unite to pwebent discrimmynashun against bunnies dat

don't got toofies. A wotta fings has got toofies an sum ob 'em are not

bunny-friendwy, howebber, dose ob us bunnies dat has gots teef has gotta

unite wiffa bunnies dat don't gots teef in an effort to see dat ebberybunny

is tweated da same.<<

 

Oh, well put. Yes, toofies in general uniting might not be a good thing. But bunnies with disabilities, like no toofies, need help and support (especially to snag Oreos cuz we cannot eat them very well).

 

>>Bud I wike dat "Fight Oreo Injustice". Dat's godda nice ring to it. It'll

wook gud onna sign. Mention it to Cwem. He's good wif pickit signs. Also I

fink we need a few "WALLYGATE" signs. Dis depribin bunnies ob fings is NOT

gud. An you discobbered it. Good going!!!

<<

 

---

I think it was John the Dentist who came up with "Fight Oreo Injustice!" It

is very catchy. "WallyGate!" is also succinct and says it all.

 

You think I will get my Oreo soon, or will an invasion be required? I can

show the in-bed-ed report where the bed is. And yes, we can open the

fridge.

 

I am detecting slave weakening, as I mentioned.

 

Wally (deprived, betrayed, bamboozled)

 

 

BC: Wallygate!

Date: 4/4/2003

 

From: Christina Kennedy

 

Here issa start, Bewinda!

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~kennedyc/WALLYGATE.gif

Iz dat a gud pickit sign?

Yers trooly,

Da Commander ob da Kennedy Warren

In-Bed-did Reporter ob RIFRAF news<<

 

Wow that is a TERRIFIC picket sign!

Quite impressive!

 

Wally

 

 

Subj: Re: BC: Wallygate!

Date: 4/5/2003

 

From: Sarah Yasutake>>

 

Wait a sec, didn't Oscar get the much-coveted Oreo, while you, TooflessWally, did not?<<

 

Yes that is true. At least he got some of the outside chocolate part. And yes, it was MY Oreo!

 

>>Is Oscar nevertheless supporting you in your fearless plight? Will he refuse the Oreo the next time the slave takes it from your lips and gives it to him? Will he bear the Wallygate sign proudly, despite his diminutive frame? If so, Oscar must be a loyal friend.Love,Clover<<

 

Well, Oscar is supporting me in my plight, but I don't know that he would refuse the Oreo next time it is snatched away (however, remember that would be THREE STRIKES for the slave and she would have to go to jail!). Yes, despite his small frame, he would carry the sign proudly. But don't know if he would reject any proffered Oreo.

 

So guess he is a friend but maybe not such a loyal friend...?

 

Wally

 

 

 

BC: Wally Snags a Pancake!<was> Re: BC: Phoebe

Date: 4/5/2003

 

From: JGW>>

 

Don't you worry, you WILL get an Oreo and your slave>will learn a valuable lesson in the process. (Don't Mess Wif Da Bunnies!!)<<

 

Well I think I may have set back the cause some ;-/ This slave is quite stupid, and does not realize that I am in a new phase of Wallydom where I FREQUENTLY hop up on the living room table (which serves as the kitchen table as the kitchen table is covered in rabbit medical bags and tubs and stuff and is generally the infirmary). So when she was in a mad dash to make it out the door and get greens for me before the market closed.... *I* hopped up and found part of a pancake! Yup. I ate it. My toofies worked ;-) Pancakes are not common around here-- this is the first one I've seen. The first one I've eaten ;-)

 

>> Can yoo tell us ware da oreo's are kept? Maybe we can brake in an liberate them.Frannie<<

 

The Oreos are in the kitchen cabinet.

 

The pancake was on the table... in the open.... fair game!

 

Oh Mom was NOT happy I ate part of a pancake (with apricot preserves on it). She was waiting for me to die. But I have not.

 

She says I am a terrible two year old. But actually I think I will be 4 come Fall.

 

The Endlessly Enterprising,

 

Wally

 

 

 

Subj: Re: BC: Wallygate! Attention: Da Don and Enforcer

Date: 4/5/2003

 

From: "Patricia A. Smith"

 

From: Commander Webley, In-Bed-did Reporter ob RIFRAF news>>

 

Dat dere iss a berry gud pikit sine. It iss kulurfull and too da point.It will git da swabe's atenshun. If dis dussnt mek hur ree-lint, den,it iss time to cawl da In-for-sur ub RIFRAF. Dat wood be me, da don,anI stan reddy to mek hur an offur shee kennot refoose. Yore pal,da don an Enforcer of RIFRAFSA<<

 

Dear Mr. Enforcer:

 

It is me, Wally's Mom.

 

He just ate a pancake-- or a part of one. So now why was it exactly you thought I should give him an Oreo?

 

What are these tiny picket signs doing in my living room?

 

Wally's Mom

 

 

 

Subj: BC: RE: Wally Snags a Pancake!<was> Re: BC: Phoebe

Date: 4/6/2003

 

BC: RE: Wally Snags a Pancake!<was> Re: BC: Phoebe

 

 

From: Charlotte Harper >>

 

WTG, Wally! You have stwuck da furst blow in your own defence by snaggin datpancake! (You know, you must eat rilly gud at your house. I dunno whutta"pancake" is...) An not onwy did he snag it, but he eated it by HISSELF! WIFda aprykot preserbs onit.<<

 

Yes, I gummed that little pancake right up! ;-)

 

>>Hokay, bunnies ob RIFRAF! Ebberybunny up an at 'em! Get into dose kitchins!Make dis a DAY OB PWOTEST! Gwab whutebber your slabe is havin an EATIT!!!!!If dey is habbin a toast, gwab it an run away an eat it! If you find sumfinunattended onna table, climb up an geddit! Show does slabes dat dey cannotdepribe bunnies ob food! Be enterpwizin! De darin! GET DA FOOD!!!I smell cinnymon downstairs. Dey is habbin BAGLES!!!! Wook out ebberybun -I'M ON IT!!!!!!!!!!Frum your friend at Our WarrenBelinda Bunny <aktybist-onna-misshun><<

 

So did you get a bagel?

 

Wally

 

 

To: Wally's Mom <was> Re: BC: Wallygate! Attention: Da Don and Enforcer

 

From: Rhonda Welch (view other messages by this author)

Date: Sat, 5 Apr 2003 21:17:51 Hay, Hay, Hay..... Lady!Do not be thinking

that a pancake replaces an oreo! An oreo is an OREO!!!Kind of like "nanner

issa nanner" ok? Besides that, you did not "give"Wally the pancake. He

snagged it from the table just like he tried to dothe oreo. I'm starting

the think that poor bun has to scavenge for all ofhis food. The fight goes

on for the OREO!!!RIFRAF Members - We must launch an all out investigation

on that there Kallan Household immediately!!! Does this slave feed these

bunnies or unwittingly leave food lying about for them to find and eat if

they can???Belinda???? Are you with me????King Valentine - Secretary

General Of RIFRAFRhonda, Valentine, Clementine, Vanessa & Cassidy

 

BC: SA - The ENFORCER <was> Re: BC: Wallygate!

Attention: Da Don and Enforcer

 

From: Rhonda Welch

 

Date: Sat, 5 Apr 2003 23:42:30 SA - Dude.....

You are the ENFORCER of RIFRAF..... You are going

to have to be a little tuffer on these issues.

If you let a slave get off that easy,we will

loose ALL control over them. <shudder> This

present situation isbeing fought because Wally had

an Oreo rudely taken away from him. Notonce, but Twice!

! TWICE!!! Only an "Oreo For Wally" will rectify

thissituation. We are waiting for Wally's Mom to give

him the OREO!!! We don'twant a pancake, we don't want

a donut, we don't want aprykot preserves, wedon't want

no other trash food....... ONLY AN OREO WILL DO!!C'mon

Enforcer..... Enforce this issue..... don't be easy!

<thump>King Valentine - Secretary General Of RIFRAF

 

Subj: Re: BC: RE: Wally Snags a Pancake!<was> Re: BC: Phoebe

Date: 4/6/2003

 

From: John Foehr>>

 

Way to go Wally!!!!!! Next thing you'll want to go to I-HOP<<

 

That is really very funny.

 

;-)

Wally

 

 

Subj: Re: Wally Snags a Pancake!<was> Re: BC: Phoebe

Date: 4/6/2003

 

From: Michael Schornstein>>

 

Way to go Wally. If you cant get the Oreo, than get whatever you can sinkyour small teethies into.Michael<<

 

Hey, guess we have to work with what we got. Small teethie-toofiess are better than no teethie-toofies at all!

 

Wally

 

Subj: To: Wally's Mom <was> Re: BC: Wallygate! Attention: Da Don and Enforcer

 

Date: 4/6/2003

From: Rhonda Welch>>

 

Hay, Hay, Hay..... Lady!Do not be thinking that a pancake replaces an oreo!

An oreo is an OREO!!!Kind of like "nanner issa nanner" ok? Besides that, you did not "give"Wally the pancake. He snagged it from the table just like he tried to dothe oreo. <<

 

It is me, Wally, replying. Mom is doing taxes.

 

And yes, a pancake is NOT an Oreo-- one would think that is obvious. And I got it ONLY because of my great initiative (and hopping abilities).

 

>> We must launch an all out investigation on that there Kallan Household immediately!!! <<

 

It must be a high cholesterol household.

 

>>Does this slave feed these bunnies orunwittingly leave food lying about for them to find and eat if they can?<<

 

She is pretty unwitting, but I am, indeed fed. But not enough.

And not Oreos.

 

But I now think she has *one* earmarked for me. She knows she has to cave.

 

But she can't write me off on her 1040 Form, unfortunately.

 

Wally

 

BC: SA - The ENFORCER <was> Re: BC: Wallygate! Attention: Da Don and Enforce

Date: 4/6/2003

 

From: Patricia A. Smith>>

 

Yore Majusty,In Ukordance wif yore di-rek-tiff, da swabe hass bin gibben 24 owrs tokompwy.Yors ree-spek-fo-wy,SA,da donenforcer ub RIFRAF<<

 

This is Wally.

 

Mom wants to know if she can have another hour since she lost one with Daylight's Savings!

 

Also she says she did not get PB Digest so had to go to eScribe and so was not informed of same deadline.

 

I think she is stalling... but I also think an Oreo is in my near future!

 

Wally (purveyor of junk food)

(sending get well wishes to Little Star)

 

BC: SA - The ENFORCER <was> Re: BC: Wallygate! Attention: Da Don and Enforc

Date: 4/7/2003

 

From: Rhonda Welch>>

 

Has his Mom promised to give him the oreo at an appointed time? Is anybunny monitoring this situation to see if Wally's Mom complies with the demands set forth by RIFRAF? Please keep us posted.King Valentine - Secretary General Of RIFRAF<<

 

King Valentine,

 

It is me, Wally.

 

She caved, she caved, she CAVED! I got my Oreo! At least the outside. Didn't get the white stuff. And she broke it up into little pieces for me. Wow, it was great! I highly recommend Oreos to one and all.

 

I have to thank all concerned for their efforts on my behalf. RIFRAF came through for me in a big way! Believe me, I don't think I would have got that Oreo after snagging the pancake were it NOT for the pressure you guys exerted (to say nothing of the picket sign!).

 

Ultimately, Mom could not argue with the logic that a pancake is NOT an Oreo. And of course I was OWED that Oreo which had been so cruelly snatched away-- twice!

 

Anyhow, thank you all so very much for intervening on my behalf, me a poor innocent bun who is missing toofies.

 

Personally, I think she feared a home invasion.

Thank you for fighting Oreo Injustice!

 

;-)

 

A Happy Wally

 

BC: Da Commander Reports In!

Date: 4/7/2003

 

From: Christina Kennedy >>

 

Like a Rinosserous, I tromped obber dafeeble hoomin resistance, and den I did what I hadda do.I took care ob da 'Nanner Injustice! I saw dat da ice cream bowl,still half-full, was balanced on da sofa arm. I ran obber to it andshoved my massive Argent head under da edge of da bowl. I raised myhead quickly and tossed da bowl! Ohh, it was magniffysent, wet metell you! Da bowl fwipped ober in mid-air. Sticky sauces wentebberywhere. Da ice cream landed on da SO's office chair. Da meltedgooey stuff landed in da female's jogging shoes. (And dere was a WOTof melted stuff!) Syrup got all obber da carpet, da sofa, da chairs,da shoe, and da female's clothes as well! And da abused 'nanners-dose wanded in front ob Specialist Nikita, who took off wif dem underda sofa!Wike a Special Hops commando, I extracted myself from da stickysituashun wif ease. I grabbed da remaining 'nanner slice and joinedmy bootiful comrade under da sofa, where we scarfed down oursugar-slopped fruit until da female stopped cleaning and figgured out where we had gone.Dis mission wuz carried out in da name ob RIFRAF, assa act of reprizalaginst Hoomins In Genneral for da injustice our pal Wally is facing.Until our buddy Wally gets an Oreo, no dessert, no snack is safe. <<

 

Commander Webley,

 

This was truly a brilliantly conceived and executed operation!

Like a rhinocerous, eh? Trying to picture that...

 

>> Bunnies ebbery were hab been seen marching in pwotest an' singing da following song:

 

Da Bunnies Will Attack! Da Hoomins soon will crack! Dey better watch dere backs, until Wally gets his cookie snack!<<

 

It worked! I got my cookie!

 

You did good.

 

Wally

 

 

BC: Triumphant Wally <was> Re: BC: SA - The ENFORCER

Date: 4/8/2003

 

From: Rhonda Welch >>

 

Anyway..... I am SO very happy to see that you did getyour well-deserved OREO!! King Valentine - Secretary General Of RIFRAF Soooo, Wally - tell us about this oreo. Do we need to start a campaign for ALL bunnies to get an OREO snack once in awhile? Is it worth it? Let us know.<<

 

The Oreo is a sublime bunny treat. I speak from the perspective of getting pretty much only the outside, which, in and of itself, is the nectar of the gods!

 

Not only is an Oreo round and attractive (much as we bunnies often are), it is chocolate! It is crunchy but not hard; it has a lovely scent and texture.

It is cute.

 

Looking at the ingredients... it is a health food!

Okay, maybe not. But it doesn't have too many long names of ingredients I can't understand.

 

I'm sure it is fine for us buns; as fine as a pancake! ;-)

 

I encourage everybun to try one. Or two.

 

Again, thanks to all for my, or rather OUR, victory!

 

Wally (distinctive nose you have, Valentine!)

 

 

BC: I, Wally, scale the kitchen table "Because it was there!"

Date: 4/27/2003

 

It is me, Wally.

 

I thought you might be interested in my latest exploit.

I scaled the kitchen table! Impressive, yes?

 

I hopped up on a chair, then up on the table. My goal: bran and carrot cake muffins were on top. However, they were in a plastic container that I could not open! And I made rather a lot of noise kicking things off the table and scrabbling around, so I was found out.

 

Please note that, unlike in the Oreo Affair, nothing was snatched from my little mouth. Still, it is frustrating to come so near, but yet so far.

 

However, Mom, fearful of RIFRAF reprisals, likely will give me a little piece of muffin later on. She doesn't want those Wallygate and "Oreo Justice!" placards to start up again.

 

I get around for a short guy with few toofies, don't I?

 

Wally

 

 

Re: Wut iz RIFRAF?

Date: 4/29/2003

 

From: John Foehr>>

 

Rifraf brought considerable pressure to bear on Wally's slab after Wally had his Oreo snatched and given away. Rifraf at its' best.John and Tawney Foehr<<

 

I should say!

RIFRAF saved me from humiliation and deprivation. I had tried to eat an Oreo TWICE and each time it was cruelly snatched away. And Oscar got a piece and I didn't!

 

It was horrific.

 

Did you see the picket sign that Commander Webley <sigh> made?

 

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~kennedyc/WALLYGATE.gif

 

Totally inspired!

 

Wally